No is for No!

N is for No! I went for a swim this morning, around 6.45, catching the low tide. The waves were crashing a bit, quite strong, following one quite quickly after another. There was something rather sweet about it. It reminded me of an obstreperous toddler stamping their foot and shouting no! then fortifying their view with downright refusal to cooperate on bloody anything. The sea was like that. Bolshy, almost knocking me over, pushing me west if I didn’t stand my ground. Except I could stand my ground, or I [...]

2024-03-10T09:33:34+00:0010 March 2024|A to Z of Life Coaching, acceptance, coaching, life coaching, no, respect, sea swimming|Comments Off on No is for No!

M is for Murmuration (but really La Mer)

M is for murmuration. Isn't it wonderful? But this is going to be M is for mer. As in la mer. The sea. Sea swimming. I hear a collective sigh. Not again. You get it. Swimming in cold water is amazing, give her a biscuit. But I was wondering, what is it about this cold sea swimming thing that works for me? Oh yes, bragging opportunities, being at one with nature (if Brighton beach constitutes nature), the build-up of brown fat, camaraderie, (though I tend to be on the antisocial [...]

2024-01-10T13:40:28+00:0010 January 2024|A to Z of Life Coaching, alive, Bravery, coaching, coaching skills, courage, Daring, fear, murmuration, personal development, winter swimming|Comments Off on M is for Murmuration (but really La Mer)

L is for Life Coach

I loathe the term Life Coach. I use it because it’s the only way people can find me. Why don’t I like it? Snobbery, mainly. Because it sounds flaky and uneducated. Because a Life Coach is just a poor person’s therapist. Because life coaching is all about goals and accountability, and I don’t usually work that way. Because Life Coach is a job for people who aren’t qualified for anything else. Because of this Life Coach. Because Life Coach sounds like I’ll have a whole lot of tools and a [...]

K is for King

I could have done something about how flexible we are, getting used to King Charles after Queen Elizabeth, calling top barristers KCs not QCs, referring to a Queen consort not Prince Phillip, getting our heads round who's got what in terms of dukedoms and principalities, new Edinburghs, new Waleses. But I’m not. I’m tired today (I did the night shift at Samaritans so my reserve is low). I’m just going to say what a load of absolute bs the whole royalty thing is. The pomp and nonsense of a coronation, [...]

2023-03-24T11:20:17+00:0024 March 2023|A to Z of Life Coaching, change, coaching, Compassionate Inquiry, coronation, king|Comments Off on K is for King

H is for hindsight

H is for hindsight, which is, as we all know, a wonderful thing. With hindsight (or even taking the trouble to listen to anyone other than the Tory base and their own fanatical desire for power) Truss and Kwarteng would have avoided crashing the economy and making a bad situation a whole lot worse; with hindsight, those who voted Brexit would have seen that the promises of Johnson and Gove were nothing of the sort; with hindsight, the government might (arguably) have responded more quickly and appropriately to the early [...]

2023-03-13T13:24:27+00:009 March 2023|A to Z of Life Coaching, coaching, Compassionate Inquiry, hindsight, Hope|Comments Off on H is for hindsight

The MyWay Code

We live in a rule-bound world, the last 12 months having demonstrated how quickly we are able to absorb new ones – sidling off the pavement if someone comes the other way, shopping in face masks, not visiting your parents at Christmas, social norms that we’d not have dreamed of a little over a year ago. Some of these rules are applied and others we apply to ourselves.  A Highway Code and a Myway Code. I have been known, when something is taking too long, to feel nearly sick with [...]

2021-04-01T10:14:59+01:001 April 2021|coaching, life instructions, transactional analysis|Comments Off on The MyWay Code

A Crash Course in Responsibility

I pranged the car on Saturday, someone went into the back of me. There’s never an excuse for someone going into the back of you, it’s what brake lights were invented for.  That, in the first nano seconds after that horrible crunchy thud, is what raced through my mind. Blame the other guy. By the time I was getting out of the car to inspect the damage, I knew that was wrong.  I was to blame.  It was my fault. By the time me and the other guy were standing [...]

2021-02-23T15:17:30+00:0023 February 2021|blame, coaching, coaching skills, responsibility|Comments Off on A Crash Course in Responsibility

I can’t be defined by a donkey

One of the ways my daughter made my recent lockdown birthday special was to arrange a surprise breakfast zoom with my sisters; there we all were, croissants, coffee and flowers in three different houses. My sisters had prepared a little game. I had to work out some clues which would lead me to their gifts. The clues related to images, items and icons from my childhood. One of the clues was about my grandparents’ car, another was about push-along donkey, and a third referenced a pair of stilts; all, as [...]

2021-02-22T16:08:43+00:005 February 2021|active listening, coaching, coaching skills, Uncategorised|Comments Off on I can’t be defined by a donkey

Not drowning but braving

I woke up last Sunday, a mild dose of anxiety making me feel slightly sick – the struggle of lockdown, the crisis in the world and not knowing when it will end.  A dip in the sea, that would do the trick. The high tide was going out.  The water was murky and turbulent; swimmable but with a definite edge and a lot less peaceful than the flat water we enjoyed at the beginning of the month. Normally, I get changed quickly once I’m on the beach, get in, get [...]

2021-01-28T14:04:37+00:0028 January 2021|anticipation, brighton, change, choice, coaching, coaching skills, decisions, fear, Hope, sea swimming, self compassion, winter swimming|Comments Off on Not drowning but braving

Now we are [nearly] six[ty]

I am sixty at the end of this month.  I know lots of people are sixty and some are even older, but it's still ... a bit of a thing. I can’t have a party, which serves me right because I’ve always made a huge fuss about having to have one.  I was going to have a few people round the weekend before; I intended to spend the actual day with my family and I’d planned a holiday with a friend just after.  A perfect triad of low-key celebration, all [...]

2021-01-21T14:58:26+00:0021 January 2021|anticipation, being alone, brighton, change, coaching, coaching skills, connection, Hope, meaning making, moving, optimism, social isolation|Comments Off on Now we are [nearly] six[ty]
Go to Top