I could have done something about how flexible we are, getting used to King Charles after Queen Elizabeth, calling top barristers KCs not QCs, referring to a Queen consort not Prince Phillip, getting our heads round who’s got what in terms of dukedoms and principalities, new Edinburghs, new Waleses.

But I’m not. I’m tired today (I did the night shift at Samaritans so my reserve is low). I’m just going to say what a load of absolute bs the whole royalty thing is. The pomp and nonsense of a coronation, making space in the huge complexity of influence and agenda, ethics and democracy for people with no qualifications other than the randomness of birth to pronounce, sway, represent and assume. I expect I’m feeling similarly to many – the Queen did a great job, came to the throne at a very different time (the UK still had an empire for one thing) kept the show on the road while the world around her changed. But now? Andrew disgraced; Harry blowing it wide open (though he’d have more credibility if he renounced the whole idea); even a scaled down coronation seems to me an abomination while teachers and nurses turn to food banks to stay afloat and the Home Secretary does her best to turn us into a hostile, mean-minded, ungenerous and hateful country. I don’t have answers, but I guess the impetus to find a better way starts from understanding that there’s a problem in the first place.

Ah, great. I was wondering if this was going to have a life coaching angle. That’ll do.