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active listening – Penelope Overton
Penelope Overton

L is for Life Coach

I loathe the term Life Coach. I use it because it’s the only way people can find me. Why don’t I like it? Snobbery, mainly. Because it sounds flaky and uneducated. Because a Life Coach is just a poor person’s therapist. Because life coaching is all about goals and accountability, and I don’t usually work that way. Because Life Coach is a job for people who aren’t qualified for anything else. Because of this Life Coach. Because Life Coach sounds like I’ll have a whole lot of tools and a [...]

2023-04-14T13:33:30+01:0014 April 2023|A to Z of Life Coaching, active listening, coaching, coaching skills, Compassion, Gabor Maté, goal, life coaching, listening, solutions|Comments Off on L is for Life Coach
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J is for Judgment (again)

J is for judgement.  I did judgement last time, but it’s a big subject so I’m going to do it again. Once, many years ago, I was training in mediation and practising active listening, doing rather well, or so I thought.  In this practice session, one of the parties was telling me how he had decided to deal with a matter with his manager, and I was telling him how great that sounded, how he’d acted with courage and integrity, all that kind of thing. The trainer told me I [...]

2023-03-17T07:09:48+00:0017 March 2023|A to Z of Life Coaching, active listening, judgment, kindness, Uncategorised|Comments Off on J is for Judgment (again)
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I is for indecision, intuition, instinct and impetuousness

I is for indecision, instinct and intuition. And impulsiveness. Quite often a client will tell me that they are wracked with indecision over something. Shall I, shan’t I? If I do this, then that will happen, but if I do that, this might. And quite often what they’ve tried already, and what they want to do with me is make a list, pros and cons. I have wasted hours, days, probably weeks and months engaged in this kind of activity myself. There’s a lot to be said for indecision, as [...]

2023-03-13T13:23:50+00:0010 March 2023|A to Z of Life Coaching, active listening, Gabor Maté, impetuosity, instinct, intuition|Comments Off on I is for indecision, intuition, instinct and impetuousness
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G is for Guess

When I was six I won a game of ‘guess how many sweets are in the jar’ at my dad’s office party, by cheating. Somewhat pathetically, rather than guess my own number, I copied the number that before mine on the sheet. Only I copied it down wrong. I’ve always felt slightly guilty about that incident, but I’ve managed to turn that sort of guessing into a job. Very often, in the course of a session, I will make a stab at guessing what my client is feeling. I don’t [...]

2022-11-01T11:58:01+00:001 November 2022|A to Z of Life Coaching, active listening, Compassionate Inquiry, curiosity, Enquiry, guess, listening, question|Comments Off on G is for Guess
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Feel the fear and discuss it anyway

I had my COVID vaccination on Monday.  I wasn't making history, I wasn't doing my bit for Britain, and I certainly didn't feel part of something world beating.  Instead I felt cross, uneasy and anxious, not to mention jolly unwell the following night. I am wary of pharmaceuticals generally, while at the same time recognise, of course, that medical science has changed our lives unrecognisably over the last century.  Mis- and over-use of antibiotics has, as we all know, resulted in serious bug mutation and consequent ineffectiveness of existing treatments; [...]

2021-02-12T12:38:47+00:0012 February 2021|active listening, choice, coronavirus, COVID vaccine, debate, fear, listening|Comments Off on Feel the fear and discuss it anyway
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I can’t be defined by a donkey

One of the ways my daughter made my recent lockdown birthday special was to arrange a surprise breakfast zoom with my sisters; there we all were, croissants, coffee and flowers in three different houses. My sisters had prepared a little game. I had to work out some clues which would lead me to their gifts. The clues related to images, items and icons from my childhood. One of the clues was about my grandparents’ car, another was about push-along donkey, and a third referenced a pair of stilts; all, as [...]

2021-02-22T16:08:43+00:005 February 2021|active listening, coaching, coaching skills, Uncategorised|Comments Off on I can’t be defined by a donkey
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How To Not Feel Dread

I am a creature of habit, almost detrimentally so. I never change my running route, I swim at the same time most days, I write my diary, I buy the same things from the supermarket, I have two bicycle circuits. One goes down the big hill then up a short, steep climb to the golf course; the other takes the same roads but the other way around which including a long tough hill on Saddlescombe Road. It’s this second version that I dread, enough to stop me enjoying the entire [...]

2021-01-14T15:32:02+00:0014 January 2021|active listening, anticipation, coaching, coaching skills, dread, exercise, fear, Hope, lockdown|Comments Off on How To Not Feel Dread
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The Wrong Jam

There is a pot of jam that has been in my fridge a very long time.  It’s delicious, Bonne Maman.  It’s full flavoured, blue black, firm and smooth.  Blackcurrant jelly.  So why haven't I eaten it? The problem is the label.  The label says it’s Gelée Framboises. There is no way this jam is made from raspberries.  I know I should be able to ignore the label and simply enjoy the taste but instead I find I’m suspicious. I’m not really sure I can trust it. I’ve noticed the same [...]

2020-06-10T13:58:32+01:0010 June 2020|active listening, coaching, coaching skills, dispute resolution, label, listening, mistake, solutions, Uncategorised|Comments Off on The Wrong Jam
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How to talk to difficult people No 3

I wrote some blogs a few weeks back on how to talk to the difficult people in your household, especially those who find you even more difficult.  I hope that’s been going well, but remember it does take practice. Today I’m going to give some examples of things we say when we mean to be helpful but which never seem to make things better.  I’m going to offer some alternatives. Sentences that start: Why don’t you … If only you would … All I ask is that … ...  hardly [...]

2020-05-06T13:59:02+01:006 May 2020|active listening, coaching, coaching skills, connection, dispute resolution, kindness, listening, Mediation, misunderstanding, needs, nonviolent communication, solutions|Comments Off on How to talk to difficult people No 3
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Active Listening in Difficult Times

If you've volunteered to be a listener through the NHS Scheme or locally through a Mutual Aid group, this video should might help you collect some tips up your sleeve for the more challenging calls. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=006KdNQrKog              

2020-03-31T14:15:17+01:0031 March 2020|active listening, being alone, coaching, dispute resolution, loneliness, Mediation, misunderstanding, nonviolent communication, self-isolation, Uncategorised|Comments Off on Active Listening in Difficult Times
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