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listening – Penelope Overton
Penelope Overton

L is for Life Coach

I loathe the term Life Coach. I use it because it’s the only way people can find me. Why don’t I like it? Snobbery, mainly. Because it sounds flaky and uneducated. Because a Life Coach is just a poor person’s therapist. Because life coaching is all about goals and accountability, and I don’t usually work that way. Because Life Coach is a job for people who aren’t qualified for anything else. Because of this Life Coach. Because Life Coach sounds like I’ll have a whole lot of tools and a [...]

2023-04-14T13:33:30+01:0014 April 2023|A to Z of Life Coaching, active listening, coaching, coaching skills, Compassion, Gabor Maté, goal, life coaching, listening, solutions|Comments Off on L is for Life Coach
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G is for Guess

When I was six I won a game of ‘guess how many sweets are in the jar’ at my dad’s office party, by cheating. Somewhat pathetically, rather than guess my own number, I copied the number that before mine on the sheet. Only I copied it down wrong. I’ve always felt slightly guilty about that incident, but I’ve managed to turn that sort of guessing into a job. Very often, in the course of a session, I will make a stab at guessing what my client is feeling. I don’t [...]

2022-11-01T11:58:01+00:001 November 2022|A to Z of Life Coaching, active listening, Compassionate Inquiry, curiosity, Enquiry, guess, listening, question|Comments Off on G is for Guess
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Feel the fear and discuss it anyway

I had my COVID vaccination on Monday.  I wasn't making history, I wasn't doing my bit for Britain, and I certainly didn't feel part of something world beating.  Instead I felt cross, uneasy and anxious, not to mention jolly unwell the following night. I am wary of pharmaceuticals generally, while at the same time recognise, of course, that medical science has changed our lives unrecognisably over the last century.  Mis- and over-use of antibiotics has, as we all know, resulted in serious bug mutation and consequent ineffectiveness of existing treatments; [...]

2021-02-12T12:38:47+00:0012 February 2021|active listening, choice, coronavirus, COVID vaccine, debate, fear, listening|Comments Off on Feel the fear and discuss it anyway
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The Wrong Jam

There is a pot of jam that has been in my fridge a very long time.  It’s delicious, Bonne Maman.  It’s full flavoured, blue black, firm and smooth.  Blackcurrant jelly.  So why haven't I eaten it? The problem is the label.  The label says it’s Gelée Framboises. There is no way this jam is made from raspberries.  I know I should be able to ignore the label and simply enjoy the taste but instead I find I’m suspicious. I’m not really sure I can trust it. I’ve noticed the same [...]

2020-06-10T13:58:32+01:0010 June 2020|active listening, coaching, coaching skills, dispute resolution, label, listening, mistake, solutions, Uncategorised|Comments Off on The Wrong Jam
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How to talk to difficult people No 3

I wrote some blogs a few weeks back on how to talk to the difficult people in your household, especially those who find you even more difficult.  I hope that’s been going well, but remember it does take practice. Today I’m going to give some examples of things we say when we mean to be helpful but which never seem to make things better.  I’m going to offer some alternatives. Sentences that start: Why don’t you … If only you would … All I ask is that … ...  hardly [...]

2020-05-06T13:59:02+01:006 May 2020|active listening, coaching, coaching skills, connection, dispute resolution, kindness, listening, Mediation, misunderstanding, needs, nonviolent communication, solutions|Comments Off on How to talk to difficult people No 3
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How to live with difficult people during a lockdown No 2

Continuing in my series on how to talk to difficult people, especially those who insist you are the difficult one: In the previous post I talked about the benefits of asking the difficult person how they’re feeling and the importance of listening to the answer; how to check and demonstrate you’ve understood them, and if you haven’t, to listen again until they know they’ve really been heard. All this time, though, you haven’t had a look in. Now it’s your turn. You can’t wait to launch in with your much [...]

2020-03-30T09:14:27+01:0030 March 2020|change, coaching skills, dispute resolution, listening, Mediation, misunderstanding, nonviolent communication, solutions, Uncategorised|Comments Off on How to live with difficult people during a lockdown No 2
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How to live with difficult people during a lockdown:

Loads of us are finding ourselves stuck indoors with difficult people who are (most unreasonably) accusing us of being the difficult one.  This could go on for a long time, so over the next week or two I'm going to blog on ways to turn arguments into constructive communication and the difficult person into someone you can manage and even enjoy to be locked down with for as long as this process takes. Step one: asking how someone is feeling and listening to the answer: 1     Before you get [...]

2020-03-26T10:26:06+00:0026 March 2020|Apology, coaching skills, connection, dispute resolution, kindness, listening, Mediation, misunderstanding, nonviolent communication, self compassion, solutions|Comments Off on How to live with difficult people during a lockdown:
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Clearing the Pebbles

It's wet and windy all over the country and no less so than down here in Brighton. The sea chucks pebbles onto the promenade and the council (presumably) sends a guy down with a digger to push them back onto the beach. The sea chucks them back again in the next storm and out the digger comes again.  In some ways it seems like a bit of a waste of resources, especially bearing in mind the forecast. There is a lot of work that is like this: cleaning the house, [...]

2020-02-27T09:45:19+00:0027 February 2020|brighton, change, coaching, kindness, listening, meaning making, personal development, renewal, self compassion|Comments Off on Clearing the Pebbles
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Let’s Dance

I did my accounts yesterday.  It's a job made not only bearable but actually enjoyable by the addition of Spotify. I shuffled through a playlist called Classic Covers. Halfway into November’s expenses I found myself listening to something I couldn't at first place - deeply familiar and at the same time completely new. It took me a moment to recognise a ponderous version of Let's Dance, a slow voice accompanied by an acoustic guitar, a hesitant harmonica between verses. The tempo was different and the rhythm was new too. I [...]

2020-02-20T14:30:56+00:0020 February 2020|Bowie, change, coaching, coaching skills, dispute resolution, Let's Dance, listening, Mediation, self compassion|Comments Off on Let’s Dance
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