Not drowning but braving

I woke up last Sunday, a mild dose of anxiety making me feel slightly sick – the struggle of lockdown, the crisis in the world and not knowing when it will end.  A dip in the sea, that would do the trick. The high tide was going out.  The water was murky and turbulent; swimmable but with a definite edge and a lot less peaceful than the flat water we enjoyed at the beginning of the month. Normally, I get changed quickly once I’m on the beach, get in, get [...]

2021-01-28T14:04:37+00:0028 January 2021|anticipation, brighton, change, choice, coaching, coaching skills, decisions, fear, Hope, sea swimming, self compassion, winter swimming|Comments Off on Not drowning but braving

How to live with difficult people during a lockdown:

Loads of us are finding ourselves stuck indoors with difficult people who are (most unreasonably) accusing us of being the difficult one.  This could go on for a long time, so over the next week or two I'm going to blog on ways to turn arguments into constructive communication and the difficult person into someone you can manage and even enjoy to be locked down with for as long as this process takes. Step one: asking how someone is feeling and listening to the answer: 1     Before you get [...]

2020-03-26T10:26:06+00:0026 March 2020|Apology, coaching skills, connection, dispute resolution, kindness, listening, Mediation, misunderstanding, nonviolent communication, self compassion, solutions|Comments Off on How to live with difficult people during a lockdown:

Who Loves a Lockdown?

  When I was a kid I wanted to be a long distance lorry driver. I hadn’t thought about motorways or transport cafés, fatigue, the health impact of sitting down for ages, deadlines, queues at borders etc.  My  fantasy was about being all by myself, in a snug little cabin, all day.  I’m reminded of it now. I have been noticing how friends and clients have been responding to this voluntary lockdown.  Some seem to be glowing with it, secretly (or openly) relishing the prohibition on crowds, travel, social contact.  [...]

Clearing the Pebbles

It's wet and windy all over the country and no less so than down here in Brighton. The sea chucks pebbles onto the promenade and the council (presumably) sends a guy down with a digger to push them back onto the beach. The sea chucks them back again in the next storm and out the digger comes again.  In some ways it seems like a bit of a waste of resources, especially bearing in mind the forecast. There is a lot of work that is like this: cleaning the house, [...]

2020-02-27T09:45:19+00:0027 February 2020|brighton, change, coaching, kindness, listening, meaning making, personal development, renewal, self compassion|Comments Off on Clearing the Pebbles

Let’s Dance

I did my accounts yesterday.  It's a job made not only bearable but actually enjoyable by the addition of Spotify. I shuffled through a playlist called Classic Covers. Halfway into November’s expenses I found myself listening to something I couldn't at first place - deeply familiar and at the same time completely new. It took me a moment to recognise a ponderous version of Let's Dance, a slow voice accompanied by an acoustic guitar, a hesitant harmonica between verses. The tempo was different and the rhythm was new too. I [...]

2020-02-20T14:30:56+00:0020 February 2020|Bowie, change, coaching, coaching skills, dispute resolution, Let's Dance, listening, Mediation, self compassion|Comments Off on Let’s Dance

You are a chest of drawers, handle yourself with care.

I’ve moved house (I might have said that before).  Three small words, one massive upheaval.  Replete with metaphors. I have an old chest of drawers, made of mahogany.  I bought it from Austen’s of Peckham which in the mid 80's was the best secondhand  furniture shop in the world.  It was arranged in layers, the higher you went up the more exotic and expensive the goods.  The top floor could have been a museum.  I used to shop on the ground floor, rummaging in the ordinary and cheap.  I picked [...]

2019-11-27T12:08:47+00:0027 November 2019|change, coaching, moving, self compassion|Comments Off on You are a chest of drawers, handle yourself with care.
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